Wondering
by littleblackneko
Summary: Loki uses the last of his magic to escape Asgardian prison and torture to end up in Stark Towers. Tony takes pity on him in his weakened state and allows him to stay. But it turn into something more. And will either of them admit they can't get the other off their mind, or will they both be left wondering? Frostiron
1. Be My Escape

Loki didn't know where he would go. Nowhere across the nine realms wanted him. He realized with a cringe that never in his whole fucking life had he ever been truly wanted. He had saved up just enough magic to get out of that prison, that absolute hellhole, in such a supposedly magnificent place as Asgard. There was no possibility he would ever set foot in that world again. The higher-ups thought they had constrained him, that they had ripped away his magic. But no. There was still that little bit that would always linger in his being, so he resisted crying out, endured the pain and suffering in that wretched cell. It had been worth it to see those pathetic guards faces when he began to disappear before them. Screw Odin, screw Asgard, screw any preconceived notion of home and family. He had none. But then it came, the question of where in Valhalla above to go.

Midgard seemed like the only available option, even though he was sure they wouldn't care to much for him there. It was risky to say the least. There were many people there who would be happy to put a bullet right in between his eyes, not that he could blame them. But he wouldn't go back to Asgard to rot and suffer for the rest of his seemingly too long of an existence. He grew weary. Every muscle, every bone that made up his body ached and he grew weary. Every injury he had endured throbbed in uncontrollable pain. His magic ran thin, until it was now nonexistent. Loki was running off of his own life source which had already taken a pretty brutal beat down. He had to go somewhere soon, or he would crash land with less hope for mere survival.

A place fluttered into his find. Why, he had no clue. Why in the world did his mind want to summon him to Stark towers? It wasn't as if he'd be safe there. The main occupant was on the short list of people Loki had pushed out a window. There was no time to think of any place elsewhere.

Except something went wonky. Instead of landing in Stark towers, he was about 3 yards outside the building. On the 18th floor. Before he even had a chance to let loose a couple of colorful foreign curses, Loki felt himself freefalling. What a pathetic way to go down. He couldn't just poof himself away. That pavement was going to hurt quite a bit. More like quite a hellova lot, Loki thought to himself. As the ground neared, he looked into the passing window and found a quick amusement in the gaping face of the one and only Tony Stark. And then the ground came, and the pain came with it. His head throbbed for a moment before Loki passed out entirely

"Alright, I need some answers, and some reasons. Please tell me why I willingly dragged your sorry ass up here. Or why you were falling off my house in the first place, when only a year ago we sent you away for, I don't know, trying to rule the world, launching me out a window. Yeah, let's start there." Tony wouldn't exactly say he felt threatened. He knew he could have this guy destroyed in a matter of seconds. He was just mostly startled, and a little pissed. It's not every day he comes out of his lab to see a super-villain falling through the air outside of his house. And how had that cocky bastard gotten off with only a year? He seemed a bit worse for wear, however. The sociopath didn't seem to quite be in the take over the world mindset.

Loki tried to stand himself up, and was quite aghast to find he couldn't. No, he had only just gotten away from that. He eyed around anxiously for the constraints, but there were none. He was merely too weak to move. And Tony Stark's face, twisted with anger, wasn't exactly the easiest thing to wake up from a blackout. The worst part was that he had no reason for being here, no alternate scheme. It was merely the first place that came to mind. Not that he would be believed in the first place.

"I guess you could say we're even now? Though I really got the short end of it. I mean, I did not have a suit to swoop me up. I had to the ineloquent move of hitting the ground." Loki's face twisted up into his classic mix between a grin and a smirk.

"So you're gonna try to be clever now. Is that really your game when you land unconscious outside my apartment. Why shouldn't I just kill you now hotshot? Though you're never exactly warm are you?" Loki cringed intensely from the spot where he lay on the couch. "Yeah, don't think I don't know about who you really are. Your SHEILD profile told us everything. You're the monster parents tell their children about at night." Oh gods, shut up, Tony thought to himself. Control your mouth, shut up, now you're just being a jerk. Learn when to just shut up, Tony reprimanded himself. "So, um, why don't you just zap yourself away right now?"

Tony looked over to his uninvited houseguest and noticed shuddering shoulders. Looking closer, he saw a steady stream of tears falling silently down Loki's pale skin. Now he had gone and done it. The point of banter the way he delivered it was to get the opponent riled up, not make them cry. A sobbing Loki Laufeyson was not how he intended to spend the evening.

"Do you actually think I'm able to use magic now, Stark? I can barely move." The words were choked out slowly and painfully. And as much as Tony hated to admit it, he actually kind of took pity on the guy.

"Alright. One night you can stay here. One night. And if I'm dead before morning, I'm going to kill you."

**Yeah! First frostiron! The namesake of this song is the Good Charlotte song Wondering. I feel like just going into massive fangirl mode now, but it's late and I'm tired. So thank you for reading, I hope you've enjoyed. A couple of days ago, I bought a new fedora and the DVD of Thor. Then I found a picture of Tom Hiddleston wearing a fedora and just about exploded. I love him so. Oh and if you get the chance, look up the video Tom Hiddleston: IMPRESSIONS! And if you want a good read, Im reading an actual Norse mythology book called Odd and the Frost Giants. Both are amazing. Thank you for reading this and any feedback is greatly appreciated. Hope you enjoyed! **


	2. Nightmares

**So, yesterday was very eventful. My best friend and I went to an anime convention and there was a shop booth there called icypanther that was so cool and it had a bunch of chibi-style stuff, and there were CHIBI AVENGERS THINGS! And now I have a purse with a freaking chibi Loki on it, ahhh it's so gorgeous. From them, I also got some anime pins, Thor and Loki key chains, and an Iron Man magnet that has a cute little anime'd RDJ and says "genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist." Please check them out, because after we had bought from them, they talked to us for like 15 minutes and were the nicest people! And then we went to see the new Spiderman, which was really good. Overall, it was a very lovely day. **

**And thank you guys for all the love you've given this story. It's made me want to write it much more, and is very high priority on the update list. Sorry that it has been a while since I continued this, but I was at my dad's these past two weeks and he doesn't have a working computer. If there is ever anything you would like to see in this story, tell me and I will try to put it in. Thank you to all the people who have reviewed/alerted/favorite, it really encourages my writing. Now on with the story! **

A pain shot through Loki's side as he forced himself to sit up on the bed he had somehow ended up on (the first proper one in a while). He hated this, hated being the weak one. The all powerful god of mischief breaking down sobbing in front of his enemy, and there wasn't a damn thing he could do about it. The Stark man was going to want answers that didn't exist. He himself was still trying to understand why he had shown up at Stark Towers. In his mind, Loki guessed, in some buried part of his subconscious, he had somehow registered this as a safe zone. It wasn't any devious plan, just an un-thought out escape route that would most likely backfire and hit him in the face like most things did.

Loki looked down and, unsurprisingly, saw blue on his fingertips. Part of the punishment was that forever on, he would have to spend eight hours each day in his true Jotun form, make him be the monster he truly was for some small part of his life. He always used the curse of himself while he slept.

Loki recalled the times when he woke up from a very different reason. As a child, when he would run into his parent's bedroom screaming from dreaming of those evil Frost Giants. They were the proper kind of nightmares for a little Asgardian boy to be having. Dreams of terrifying monsters. But now he was one of them, and his heritage stung. It made him feel absolutely disgusting. Sometimes the not knowing was so much better. Maybe he should have been left to die. What was the point of life if you can't even like yourself?

Then he heard a large noise coming from behind the door.

Tony twirled around in circles on the chair in the 'bar' area of his kitchen, like a child, making a number of swift rotations before grabbing onto the island to stop himself, then swigging a small amount of some type of brown liquid that stung on the way down. He couldn't quite recognize what it was, and at this point, didn't really care. He hadn't gotten drunk in quite a while and wanted to blame the dizziness on the chair spinning extortion, though that was obviously not the case. He just didn't want to admit defeat

Though this time, he could argue, the booze had a purpose. To try and make him forget what an asshole he could be. He had been in a vain attempt to try and withdraw completely from alcohol. But to no avail, it seemed. Sometimes he just needed it to drown out any hint of an emotion. But no matter much he drunk, he didn't think the powerful guilt that overwhelmed his conscious would ever lift tonight.

No one deserved such harsh words in the entirety of their life, let alone in one night. And Tony could only assume that guy hadn't exactly been living a life of sunshine and rainbows. Tony knew he needed to learn how to control his mouth. He had a horrible habit of letting a joke grow into something more powerful and hurtful. Sometimes he was comedic in a situation that required gravity. And sometimes he was just plain mean.

On many occasions, that had worked out in Tony's favor. A quick-witted comeback or snarky remark or cruel joke could distract the enemy just long enough for Iron Man to save the day. But there was no filter on it. Tonight he had ended up attacking the defenseless.

Not that Loki was perfectly innocent in the grand scheme of things, he had already done plenty of damage, but Tony had verbally assaulted him. That was another problem he had. He knew how to hit right where it hurt.

"Jarvis, what's the time?" Tony groaned, dropping his head onto the kitchen island, feeling the cool granite countertop against his cheek.

"It is 2:57 AM sir." The AI responded. Yes, this would be one of the nights that he was not going to be getting any sleep whatsoever. "And I feel inclined to inform you that there has been a major temperature drop inside the building."

He felt himself jolt upward, eye twitching slightly in anxiety. There couldn't be anything particulary dangerous out and about, that had somehow broken into the mansion, could there? "Where is the source of the temperature change?"

"I've traced the temperature drop to guest bedroom 3."

Well, shit. That was where he had brought Loki to. Carried, if you want to get technical, out of guilt and some twisted form (he'd have to look into that later) of empathy. Man was that god light. He couldn't have weighed more than 100 pounds. Back on topic, Tony pondered what might be the cause of the drop in temperature where his well, um, guest was. If that guy was doing some kind of goofy magic trick, he would be digging his grave even deeper. And it disturbed Tony how concerned he felt with the other man's well being.

**Okay, I really want to get this up today for you all so I hope you enjoy1 Does anyone here like Owl City? I went to his concert last night with my best friend and we were FRONT ROW! Oh my gosh it was the best night ever! HE performed Plant Life and was literally like 5 feet away from us. And he smiled at us! Oh it was just soooo amazing, alright I'll stop rambling now. New chapter should be up within a week. If you would like updates about when I'm working on different things, there is a facebook page called littleblackneko's fanfiction. Please review :)**


	3. Take It All Away

**Each chapter of this story will be titled with the name of a song. Links to all songs are on my profile. **

**Thanks to the reviewers, followers, and favorites I have received. It makes me love writing this so much more. **

CH 3- Take It All Away

Tony found himself, for some reason, running to the bedroom of the god with great anxiety. He shouldn't be worried about Loki. If anything he should be furious. There was that whole take over the world, throw people out windows escapade, and then he had crash landed at the tower with no forewarning.

But for some reason, there was a great sense of empathy in Tony's being, like he could relate, which was crazy, right? He couldn't possibly have a connection with a crazy god. But there was no denying that there was something that made it impossible Stark to hate Loki. And he would never admit it out loud, but Loki hadn't left his mind since he arrived here.

In his haste, Tony slammed his arm against a decorative vase, creating a loud shatter and a whispered 'damnit.' He looked up, noticing he was now in front of the room where the dilemma was. There was concern, and a bit of guilt still floating around from earlier, as Tony approached the door. He was going to feel so stupid if this was some silly joke. Loki hadn't looked in condition to be acting like a devious prankster, but it wasn't eliminated from the possibilities. He was the trickster after all. But when he entered the room, he wasn't prepared for what he saw.

Sure, he had read about what frost giants were. He knew what they were supposed to be like, to look like, and to act like. But this wasn't what he expected. His mind had never made the connection between the blue demons and the pale, black haired Norse god.

Not that he looked bad; this appearance of his was, in a way, quite beautiful. His skin was painted a deep blue color with intricate swirls and designs twisting around the revealed flesh.

His eyes pierced into Tony, green replaced with a deep, haunting, red. "Get out," he heard Loki whisper with a strange intensity. And if Tony didn't know any better, he'd say Loki was trembling. Tony also wasn't one for following orders if the past showed everything. He walked closer to the bedside, the death glare still driving into him, as he came to sit next to the bed Loki was in. Damn, it was _cold. _His AI had been correct in detecting some sort of issue, because it was no warmer than ten degrees in here.

"Are you happy now Stark, now that you can gawk at the hideous beast without fear?" The words made Tony cringe at the words that were shot at him with a sharp tongue. He knew he deserved them. Before the god's arrival, Tony had to admit, he hadn't really thought of him as having feelings. He was hell-bent on power, crazy, and uncaring about everything. He hadn't thought there was something else. The man in front of him looked so broken, so deeply scarred. Tony would know, it had happened to him before.

"What in the world are you talking about? How is this hideous?" Tony gave himself for props for at least trying, comfort and kindness had never been his forte. He was trying to refrain from quick words that could easily come across as hurtful.

"Do not jest with me, man of iron. I am a monster, you have said it yourself. I'm a monster that's not even good enough for the monsters. I'm doomed for failure." He looked so dejected. Tony studied the man in front of him, the emblems that coated blue toned skin and led to glowing red eyes that looked so bogged down with emotions that Tony couldn't even begin to comprehend them, "I've been told plenty how horrid I am during my imprisonment. Every shred of dignity was stolen. Do you really think yourself great enough to rid me of those memories? To take it all away?" Loki didn't look frightening at this moment, more intriguing.

"Well," the iron man said, barely above a whisper, " if anyone could think to do it, it would be me." Tony, for some reason, felt an urge at that moment to reach out and stroke Loki's cheek.

But before his hand could make contact, Loki muttered, emotionless, "Don't touch me. It'll burn." Tony didn't jolt the hand but merely lowered it slowly to rest on his lap. Then, to Loki's surprise, Tony lay down next to him, a smug grin visible on his face.

"What's got you smiling so rudely, Stark?" Loki questioned, somewhat aghast, edging further away from the man who had so thoughtlessly invaded his personal space.

"You're not all that threatening, you know that right?"

"I could still crush you."

"Whatever you say Loki-dokey" As much as the god tried to hide it, Tony saw the faint smile that displayed itself on Loki's face for a mere second. "But we will not be having these death threats floating around while you're in my building."

Loki's eyes widened, realizing the implications of the words. "Are you saying that I may reside in your dwelling?"

"Yeah, you can stay here, at least till you're fully healed. I've needed someone I can match wits with."

"But what of that group of yours? Will they not think it a problem?"

"They're out at the moment, and they don't need to know anything now. My personal life is none of their beeswax. Consider yourself a resident of Stark Towers. Keep your mind on and pop music out, and you should to do just fine."

"Thank… thank you Stark."

"Don't mention it… No, scratch that you owe me for this. It always makes me feel a bit devious when people owe me things… Now if you'll excuse me, I have a pillow calling my name." Tony strutted out of the room, proud of himself that the interaction had gone far better than expected. As the door closed behind Tony, Loki settled back into his own bed, no longer trying to conceal the grin creeping across his face.

At least, for now, he felt safe.

**I hope you have enjoyed :) I have planned a story arc for this story, yay! Tom Milsom released a new album recently which has made me inexplicably happy. Also I've fallen in love with Yugioh abridged, especially Marik. Hmmm, Marik and Loki… Maybe I do crave subjugation… I will be gone for the next week at band camp so I will unfortunately not be able to update in that time. When I get back, I will update I promise. Oh if you go to the youtube channel littleblackneko1 it's my channel and I have posted some avengers related things if youre interested.** **Please continue to review, favorite, and alert. I love you guys!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Ch4- Boulevard of Broken Dreams**

Loki woke up with a strange sensation that morning, his eyes slowly blinking closed and open in the dark room. A small stream of light came in through a thinner curtain in the room. He stood up gingerly, kinks unraveling in his back as he finally made it up to standing on his own two feet and was aware even in his groggy state that this was morning was far different from any he had in ages. He woke up and wasn't afraid. He didn't have to fear his family. Or torture. Or humiliation amongst people he had once thought friends. He didn't feel the need to run, hide, curl up and die. And then he remembered last night.

Tony Stark knew his secret. He had witnessed it firsthand. The enemy had all the information he needed to rip Loki apart piece by piece. To grind him into dust and fading memories. Stark had the power to do that. It terrified Loki how much he just wasn't scared of that. But right now he was more concerned about how to quell the ache of hunger that was growing in the pit of his stomach. Maybe a banana. Bananas were good in terms of those strange Midgardian fruits. He noticed a dresser drawer casually hanging open, and opened it to fully see its contents. There was a green sweater set next to a pair of near black jeans that when he slid them on, he noticed were quite tight on him. In his groggy, unkempt state, he shuffled out of the bedroom, but he realized soon that he had no clue where he was going. Seriously, this place should have maps on the wall or something. He walked for what felt like ages before ending up in what he could assume was the kitchen from the sight of Tony eating a chocolate donut and the familiar bar counter.

"Good morning, sunshine!" Tony cried out, grinning cockily. "How goes the sleeping to noon?" Loki chuckled a little. That man was a pain in the ass and he knew. He _loved _it. He lived it up every second he could. "Wish I could hang out but the world isn't just going get rid of the chaos itself." Loki looked at him skeptically. "Okay fine… There's a daytime gala I have to attend. Gonna get waaas-ted!"

The green eyed god shook his head and rolled his eyes. Tony was impossible. But then a realization occurred to the smaller man. "You aren't going to cause any trouble, right tall, pale, and devious?"

"I can't guarantee that, Stark." He shot Tony the most troublesome grin he could create. Tony hesitated for a moment before throwing his company a small electric device, which the man looked at curiously.

"What is this contraption?" he eyed Tony warily.

"It's called a StarkPod. It's like an IPod but more…me." Loki continued to stare at him blankly "Just try it out. It's pretty awesome. But be careful, if you break it, you die."

With that, Tony left for the party. He had worn a proper suit and tie like the good businessman persona he put on would, and had walked in already expecting the worse. After attending so many of these, it had become routine. Talk to the people who looked. Don't cuss people out. Submit the charity name to memory and pretend like it's really important, especially if the word 'child' was in there. Get drunk so the room, the party, the everything, would look as fake as it felt. He had always made sure to regulate the alcohol though, to keep him at a level of acting as intelligent as they made him out to be. Most of the night, the drunken silliness would be subdued. He would only go crazy after everyone else did. Then he went fucking insane. Then he called a cab and tried to remain conscious and un-drooling for the ride home. It was the same every time, and it was exhausting. But he had to do it, since, like it or not, he was a business man. The only difference was that this gala was twice as long as most (approximately 8 hours tonight), meaning he had to wait twice as long to numb the boring.

About 3 hours in, Tony considered his alcohol level to be at about 18%. He had been swept into a conversation with an old, balding man who was the director of something. The man considered Tony Stark's young face to be a close friend of his. But all he did was make Tony's fingers itch more for a bottle. But he stuck to his rules, and because of that, Tony declared himself due for a break. He made an excuse of caring for a pet and slipped away. Time to see how it had fared leaving the god of mischief alone in his home.

Loki found himself innately bored, locked away in Stark towers. There were worse options (far, far worse…), but as it was, he wanted to keep himself entertained. And without someone to pester and match wits with, it seemed a bit emptier. He had already used his slowly returning magic to hide all the spoons throughout the house, dooming one to lack of ice cream, the chairs were already off centered, and he felt a bit done with the trivial pranking he was able to do with his limited magic supply, and lay on a red couch bored out of his mind. All the interesting things were locked up in that lab of Stark's, and all the technology he had access to, he did not know how to use.

His hand reached to his pocket and pulled out the small device that Tony had given him before he left. He had a fairly understandable idea of how it worked, but was still yet to know its purpose. Strange combinations of words littered the screen. He had no clue what in the world Aerosmiths or Van Halens were, nor was he strongly intent on finding out. But, it would be a while yet until Tony returned and he needed something to amuse himself with. So he took the thing and put the headset on his ears, psyching himself for whatever this experience could be.

No w Loki had heard music before. He had heard classical streams flow in many different keys from multiple regal looking instruments, slow and slurring people clinging onto each with a desperate longing Loki was yet to understand, but still knew he wanted. Then there were the fast bouncy tunes that were intended for real proper dancing, in which he had been trained as a child. He remembered the culture festival that had occurred when he would have been a Midgardian fifteen (during the bangs-are-so-long-the-eyes-don't-seem-to-exist phase) and stood in a corner listening and observing instead of dancing with the others.

The culture fest occurred often enough for Asgardians to mark the date on their calendars and become excited. Music was played from all the different realms and people danced, sung, and got very drunk, all together becoming more "cultured." It was created to allow people to bond, to create tolerance, and to show that no matter how different these people seemed from other planets seemed, they were all tied through the beauty that was music. That all cultures, no matter how far away, couldn't function without music. Jotun music was not played

A song from Midgard, more specifically from a country of theirs called Russia, called Hopak played, and when the song finished, the crowd cheered louder than they had all night. Loki had been enthralled by the fancy, happy, peppy music. He watched the fingers of different instruments running rapidly around the keys like it was their sole purpose in life, and quickly he became envious of these people's ability to play such beautiful music. Within in a few seconds, he was lost in the sound.

The sounds that came from this infernal device were not music. They were just… screeching noises. He shuddered, flinging the device to the ground, shattering the glass screen slightly. One thing could easily be said. Some mortals had no taste in music.

"I take it you are not a fan of Master Stark's music?" Seeing that he was already in a particularly venomous state, it's a good thing his powers were weakened or Stark Tower would have been done for. The machine's voice had come out from nowhere, and he had to remind himself that it was, in fact, just a machine. He couldn't help but be a bit anxious, considering there was probably not on a person this planet, let alone in this city, that wouldn't shoot him dead the second they saw him. And now, in this state, he would have to succumb to it, if such an event were to occur. For some reason, though, he seemed to be safe in this place, in the eye of the storm. All of this, it was completely wrong, this false (?) sense of security. This couch he laid on now, it was highly likely something similar to it had been lit on fire by him truly. That window, that one over there, had been shattered once by a body, the very one, quite strangely, that seemed to show him a bit of humility.

"Yes, I do find it to be rather atrocious…" he said, his words twisted in a grimace. He couldn't stand what had been playing and that seemed to have gotten him into a bit of a foul mood. Then again, it could probably just be called a mood, most every mood of his tended to be foul. Those lyrics had been absolutely perturbing compared to the classical music he had grown up with, and those rock stars had all been so self-glorified, talking about their own splendor, wealth, and brilliance. Not unlike one Anthony Stark, he thought. But for some reason, with Tony, it didn't seem to bother him as much. Maybe because the man's self-praise was well-earned. Speaking of the cocky bastard, how long did he intend to be away for? Things were getting quite dull without someone to unleash banter on, and now he had new ammunition, about the horrid music the man seemed to worship. What kind of event took this long anyway? It had been a whole…oh, three hours, Loki thought, glancing at a digital clock, and accidentally catching his reflection. Wow, what a sorry sight he was, how worse for wear he appeared, with circles under his eyes so dark they looked like they had been dragged through a tar pit twice over.

"Would you care for me to create a device for you personally, Mister Laufeyson?" The voice overhead of the JARVIS device came again and it was still as baffling as the first time. This was probably the reason he didn't too upset over his proper name.

"That would be acceptable. Anything but that drivel, please." He declared, nodding curtly, even though there was no one there to see him. Why couldn't Stark hurry up and get back home. Was this what this was now, Loki's home? He secretly hoped so, what a relief that would be.

"Alright, sir, there will be a simple brain scan to generate music that would satisfy your needs. The procedure will be painless and within five minutes, all sources will have been swept and the device compiled."

"I knew Tony wasn't as clever as he made out, but to think this wouldn't be blatantly obvious?"

"What are you referencing, sir" the system said, sounding legitimately confused.

"The scientist man has a new test subject. I'm guessing he asked you to keep these scan on record for his perusal, correct."

"Yes."

"That's the what I'm referring to. So he wants to study how I'm built, that man is always looking for a new project. That's the whole purpose of this brain scan, is to see what my mind is like. So I'm a test subject? That shouldn't be an issue as long as Stark doesn't go blabbing the details. And it wouldn't be so bad to have some good music to listen to; heavens know it has been long enough. Go ahead with your scan."

True to the AI's guarantee, his device had been ready in the five minute time period, ready for perusal. He still used Stark's headphones, but plugged them into his new device. He needed to think of a clever name for this piece of equipment that supposedly had his perfect choice in music. It needed the best name, if only to spite Stark. And it was all true; the music on it was absolutely wonderful, albeit his not being familiar with its style.

Halfway through analyzing a song entitled Spaceman, he realized for the first time that, by the human standard he was more than likely clinically depressed. Some of those days, in those cells, he had been absolutely positive that he would be better off dead. Inside dark walls, nothing to entertain himself with, the only thing to do, the only place to go, was the inside of his brain, where there was nothing but a labyrinth of suffering, of longing for acceptance he knew he would never get, the need for a place to belong that he would never have. He didn't know what had kept him from simply offing himself, perhaps pride. He didn't want those Asgardians with their noses in the air to think they were right, that he was nothing but a monster that was inferior to them. And he didn't think he would ever get out, not with the way they had so relentlessly abused him. The nightmare felt like it would fade, especially since he had technically never finished his sentence. They could come down from the 'heavens' and drag him right back inside those dark, damp walls and no one would think twice of it. No one had ever really cared about him, right. It had all been a simple act they had played. He had always been a shadow, he had always been insignificant.

For a moment a preposterous thought occurred to him. No, they were enemies, well technically. He had only been here a few days anyways, and there was absolutely no chance it was possible. Somewhere, though, in that tiny little part of his mind that still had hope, hidden in a lost corner, there was a small voice. _Would Tony Stark care if they came and dragged me away? _He lowered his head onto a table. Bloody hell, why was he so tired lately?

Tony returned home to find that at least nothing had been destroyed, even though someone had obviously kept himself busy during the absence, and Tony couldn't help but chuckle to himself. It wasn't too hard to find his houseguest, who looked particularly disheveled. Loki was absolutely unconscious, his head rested on a table while his legs curled up a bit back on the chair that he was technically sitting on, and there was no way that position was comfortable. His houseguest looked deceptively angelic in his sleeping state, like his skin would be so soft, and his features so delicate, his figure so childlike without all the blockades built up around it. For the first time, Tony wondered what exactly had happened to have change Loki so much. What hell, exactly, had he been through to have to build up such a cold façade around everyone? Tony was no stranger to false personas, as he had been through enough of them in his lifetime. He had played quite a lot of the game of being funny and snarky when things were uncomfortable, because he wouldn't ever let anyone believe for a damned second that a man like him could be scared.

How much angst, how much sadness, how much unbridled _fear _was trapped and caged in that immortal heart? How much suffering had that man had to deal with? Too much to ever admit, he assumed. Geez, could Tony ever relate. He allowed this strange smile that had created itself on his face to falter when he saw his music player on the ground, with a cracked screen. He given one rule and… Oh friggin well. The repairs were simple and unfortunately not everyone had taste. Looking closer though, Loki did indeed have headphones, and as Tony followed a path, he found it led to a personalized player, one of the new systems he had been working on. Which meant JARVIS had gotten the scans. Good, he thought, slightly deviously.

Tony leaned over curiously, and picked up a headphone to see what exactly the moody, snarky man's taste and he almost couldn't contain a laugh at the lyrics that coincidentally were playing. "_Cuz Andy, You're a Star In nobody's eyes but mine…"_

Before he could hear any further, his phone vibrated in his pocket, and he pulled it out to see a frantic text from Pepper, asking where he had gone because she wasn't going to be able to cover for his antics much longer tonight. That was the entire break he got tonight? He didn't want to go back and deal with those insufferable people again. He wasn't even in the mood for getting drunk and having what the Brits would call a"damn good shag." He would much rather stay here where at least his intelligence level could be matched but business called. He took a moment to lay a blanket on Loki's twisted frame and pivoted, walking right back out the door and into dullness. If he was going to spend any more time with these people after his money, he was going to need a lot more to drink. All he wanted for the cab ride and the rest of the night was to be right back, and a certain black haired man never seemed to want to leave his mind.

Sorry its been ages, far far too long because I love this story. So I guess to say THANK YOU SO MUCH this chapter ended up being ridiculously long for what I usually write so I hoped you all liked it and seriously thanks so much because I literally never have had so many story alerts or favorites on one thing. Chapters should come at a much normaller pace now (I say, forgetting about finals. But seriously, no more spells like there have been).

Ps… It is so hard to focus on frostiron when Johnlock videos KEEP PLAYING. The chaos of two OTPs. But geez I love frostiron. My friend and I get into debates about which of our avengers pairings in better… Okay, ramblings done. Well, till next time :)


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